You Are Not Alone

Last week was National Infertility Week, themed "You Are Not Alone".  I love this theme! I think a lot of the couples or individuals going through infertility can feel very alone.

I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do this year to spread awareness. Then in the beginning of April I saw that CNN was asking for stories about infertility. I am not sure what inspired me to submit our story, but I did. I even forgot to ask Zac before hand...oops! Good thing he is okay with this sort of stuff. :)

Our story wasn't featured, but it can still be found on their website....here. I had never really directly said that we were dealing with infertility on Facebook. I had shared links to articles about infertility,but I had never directly said it...until now. I share our story from CNN along with a briefly explanation about our struggle.

I was completely overwhelmed with the response that I received. I felt so loved! I had so many Facebook friends (some that I hadn't talked to in a while) tell me that they were praying for me or that they were going through the same thing! It is amazing when you decide to open up, you truly discover that you are not alone!

If I have learned anything in the last three and a half years, it is that I am not alone. I have had friends, family and God rally around Zac and I. There are people everywhere going through hard things. I can guarantee that everyone you meet is fighting their own battle. Whether it be infertility, death, addiction, poverty, etc. they have their struggles too.

National Infertility Awareness Week 2014

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. I want to take this opportunity to help increase awareness. Resolve.org is a non profit organization that is a great place to find resources and is devoted to bringing awareness to this disease. Yes, it is a disease. I am frequent visitor to their website. They have encouraged me to share and to use this opportunity to let others know. I have debated with myself if I should post this list or if I should just keep it to myself. This has been a private list of mine for the last several months. I don't like to post posts that are sad or that may come off as complaining because I really do have a lot to be grateful for. I try to put on a brave face and look for the positive during this journey. But in reality, there is a lot of pain and heartache that is involved. Below is my personal list of confessions about my infertility. These are the things that I struggle with on a daily basis, some of my innermost feelings that I want to share with you. By sharing this list, I just want you to know that this is the hardest thing I have ever gone through and that I hope that this will help you understand a little bit more about me and about infertility. 

• It feels like someone is trying to rip my heart out every time I see a new born baby, expectant soon-to-be mother or a darling little girl.
• I sometimes un-follow your Facebook posts, Instagram or blog because I can't handle all of the baby pictures, complaining posts about pregnancy/kids and pregnancy announcements.
• I secretly wish I was strong enough to tell you that it hurts every time you complain about your greatest blessing.
• I would give up anything to go through morning sickness, hardly get any sleep and have a messy house if it meant I had a child.
• I appreciate your suggestions, but lets be honest, I have already tried to just relax and any other old wife's tale that helped your sister's friend's sister get pregnant. I just read a study about full fat dairy increasing fertility....ice cream anyone?
• I purposely plan my route in Target to avoid the baby section.
• Each month, I start to in-vision what it would be like to be pregnant and a mother....only to be reminded, painfully, that this month isn't the month.
• I cry a lot.....more than anyone would ever expect or even know.
• I think about infertility everyday....every single day.
• I frequently dream I am pregnant or that I have a baby. Sometimes they are so real that I wake up half expecting to find that child really there.
• I have a secret Pinterest board for infertility to remind myself that I am not alone.
• Please don't tell me that I have plenty of time or that I am still young, that doesn't make me feel any better.
• I genuinely don't mind you asking me about it. I honestly would rather have you ask than to have you wonder.
• Each month I feel so guilty because there must have been something more I could have done to make it happen.

If you have a friend or loved one going through a similar situation, give them a hug this week and let them know that you care. They may need it much more than you know.