The Big One

BIG NEWS! Zac and I have decided to try IVF with ICSI. Big news, right?! I may or may not be freaking out just a little bit. I can't describe the whirlwind of emotions that I am feeling about this decision. I am excited, nervous, hopeful and scared all at the same time. I am ready to start and to see if this will finally give us the children we have longed for for so long. Our chances for success are quite high around 60% which is so much better than our current chances of like 1%. We are hoping to start our first cycle sometime between the end of October and beginning of November.

One of the homework assignments that I have to do before is watch training videos on how to give myself shots. Yikes! Just watching the video was frightening so this will be really interesting. Any friends out there that don't mind sticking me with a needle? Just kidding....but seriously. 

Even though I feel good about this decision and I know that it is the right next step for us to take it is still really scary. I keep telling myself that thousands upon thousands of couples go through this each year so it shouldn't be such a big deal. But oh, it IS a big deal. 

Seriously, I think the only way I am going to make it through this is because it is fall and I love fall. So if all else fails, I at least have pumpkin patches, leaves changing and caramel apple spice drinks from Starbucks to keep my mood up.

 I am still waiting for the IVF nurses to call me back so we can talk schedule. The more I learn about this process I become more and more amazed at how advanced modern medicine is! Everything about this whole procedure is all about timing.

We have started some of the pre-testing. Last week I had a sonohysterogram done and what they call a trial transfer. The sonohyterogram was to make sure there was no scar tissue or blockages and the trial transfer is pretty much the doctor Google mapping my uterus so, you know, really fun. I did not anticipate how incredibly painful it would be! Holy cow. It hurt so bad. The pain was so terrible that I lost my breakfast on the way home from the doctor's office. I have only had cramps that severe a few times in my life. It was terrible. On the bright side though, our doctor said that if he didn't know I had Endometriosis that he wouldn't have been able to tell. So YAY for minimal endo growth.  

Going through this is going to take so much strength: physical, emotional and mental. I just have to remind myself that going through hard things just make you stronger and that I may really get my Christmas wish this year, a baby. :)