Two Years

Life is definitely not what I ever expected it to be. In my vision of what was supposed to happen I was supposed to be a lovely wife and mother caring for her young family. Instead I find myself struggling with something that I never thought I would struggle with.
I think about it all the time. Every time I see an expectant mother or a sweet baby I experience a pain and a yearning that I have never even really thought about until a few years ago.
Once, in the first year of marriage, I was late one month and I was terrified at the thought that I was possibly pregnant. Now I would give almost anything to be pregnant. This month is my two year mark of infertility. This post also marks my 100th post on my blog. I have learned a lot in the last two years, a lot of hard lessons. I have also learned the importance of pray, friends, family and an attitude of gratitude. I try really hard not to feel sorry for myself because I know that there are others that are going through difficult trials as well. I can only be grateful for the many blessings I have in life. So to honor my 100th post, I have composed a list of 100 things that I am thankful for...

1. Zac 
2. Mom
3. Dad
4. Sisters
5. Brother
6. Nephews
7. Sibling-in-laws
8. Parents-in-laws
9. Grandparents
10. Cousins
11. Aunts and Uncles 
12. Warm socks
13. Hot showers
14. Warm summer days
15. The leaves changing color in the Fall
16. All of my friends!
17. The Gospel
18. Jesus Christ
19. God
20. Church
21. Pray
22. The Book of Mormon
23. Visiting teachers 
24. Home teachers
25. Hot Chocolate
26. Music
27. Couches 
28. My bed
29. Clothes
30. Hands
31. Eyes
32. Ears
33. My hair
34. Nose
35. My car
36. My job
37. My boss/co-workers
38. BYU
39. Soccer
40. My cell phone
41. The United States
42. My ancestors 
43. General conference
44. School teachers
45. Sunday school/YW teachers/leaders 
46. My piano teachers
47. My Orchestra teachers
48. My soccer coaches
49. My basketball coaches
50. A good book on a cold winter day
51. The smell of the earth after rain
52. Monsoon season
53. Hiking trails
54. Swimming pools
55. The ocean
56. My bike
57. Warm chocolate chip cookies
58. Ice cream
59. Doctors
60. Dentists
61. Contacts
62. Glasses
63. Soap
64. Lotion
65. Chap stick
66. Family traditions 
67. Thank yous 
68. My iPod
69. My heart
70. My legs 
71. Races 
72. My sewing machine
73. Animals
74. Disneyland
75. Kisses
76. Hugs
77. Love
78. Snow
79. Holidays
80. A clean apartment
81. Movies
82. Cameras
83. Microwaves
84. Clean water
85. Modern refrigeration
86. Computers
87. The internet 
88. Sweaters
89. Yoga pants 
90. airplanes
91. Police officers
92. Firefighters
93. Eyebrows
94. Teeth
95. California Surf n' Turf Burritos 
96. Air conditioning
97. Heaters 
98. Electricity 
99. Pillows
100. Moon and Stars